Should I Consider Ending My Marriage?
Written by Jeremy Setters, LCSW, expert Contributor, for Gastelum Attorneys
Should I Get a Divorce? Signs, Safety Concerns, and What Nevada Law Means for Your Decision
No quiz, article, or attorney can tell you whether you should get a divorce. What helps is separating three questions: Am I safe? Has the relationship changed in ways that can realistically be repaired? And if I decide to file, what does Nevada law actually require and protect? This page walks through all three, and our confidential divorce readiness quiz can help you organize your own answers.
Key Takeaways
- Safety comes first. If violence, threats, or coercive control are present, the priority is a safety plan, not a legal strategy. SafeNest’s 24/7 hotline is 702-646-4981.
- Persistent apathy, contempt, stonewalling, and imagining life without your spouse are common signals of emotional detachment, but they are signals to examine, not verdicts.
- Nevada is a no-fault state. Incompatibility is a sufficient ground for divorce under NRS 125.010, and either spouse can file after six weeks of Nevada residency under NRS 125.020.
- Deciding to divorce and deciding to file are different decisions. You can understand the legal and financial consequences before you announce anything.
If You Feel Unsafe, Start Here
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For confidential, 24/7 support in Clark County, call or text SafeNest at 702-646-4981 or visit safenest.org. The Shade Tree shelter’s 24-hour line is 702-385-0072.
SafeNest advocates can help you build a safety plan and assist with protection orders, including emergency protection orders processed by phone. If you research these resources on a shared device, consider using a phone or computer your spouse cannot access.
Physical violence, threats, emotional and psychological abuse, and financial control change this decision entirely. Gaslighting, constant criticism, isolation from friends and family, and one spouse controlling all access to money are forms of coercive control, and they tend to escalate. When these patterns are present, the question is no longer whether the marriage can be improved. It is how to get safe, and legal strategy comes after safety. If any of this describes your relationship, our guides on trauma bonding and how to leave safely and divorcing a narcissist in Nevada go deeper.
Signs You May Be Emotionally Detached From Your Marriage
As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I have sat with many people wrestling with this exact question. The patterns below do not mean you should divorce. They are signals that the relationship has changed in ways worth taking seriously.
Consistent apathy
Indifference is often a later stage than anger. If your partner’s thoughts, needs, and presence no longer stir much of anything in you, that emotional flatness frequently precedes the decision to leave, and it is worth understanding before you act on it.
Imagining life without your spouse
Everyone has fleeting thoughts during conflict. What matters is the feeling attached to them. When picturing a separate life brings relief and ease rather than dread, part of you has already started to disconnect.
Conflict that never resolves
Arguing is normal. Arguing about the same things for years, with no repair afterward, is different. Researchers who study divorce point to four especially corrosive patterns: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt. Contempt, treating your partner as beneath you, is the strongest single predictor that a marriage is in trouble.
Loss of physical and emotional intimacy
A sustained decline in affection, from sex to simply holding hands, often reflects distance one or both partners already feel. The same is true when you routinely take your worries, wins, and loneliness to someone other than your spouse.
Substance misuse without willingness to get help
Addiction strains every marriage it touches. The more important question is whether your spouse acknowledges the problem and engages with treatment. Refusal to seek help, especially where children are affected, changes what staying costs you, and documented substance abuse is also something Nevada courts weigh in custody decisions.
Is This a Rough Patch or a Fundamental Change?
Marriages survive affairs, bankruptcies, grief, and years of distance. They also end over quieter erosions. A useful clinical distinction is whether both spouses are still willing to work: two people in counseling with genuine effort have a real path back, while one person working alone against a partner who has checked out usually does not. Counseling or discernment counseling before any legal step is often worth it for that reason alone. Sometimes it repairs the marriage. Sometimes it gives you clarity that separation is the honest answer, and that clarity makes every later decision easier.
| Often worth working on it | Often worth talking to an attorney |
|---|---|
| Conflict is tied to a specific stressor (job loss, new baby, illness) and both spouses want to repair it | Safety concerns, threats, or coercive control are present |
| Both spouses are willing to attend counseling and follow through | One spouse controls all money or you suspect assets are being hidden or drained |
| There is still respect, even during disagreement | Contempt, chronic deception, or an unaddressed addiction defines the relationship |
| You want to understand your feelings before making any move | You have decided, or your spouse has told you they intend to file |
Should I File for Divorce? How the Decision Meets Nevada Law
Deciding your marriage is over and deciding to file for divorce are related but separate decisions. Filing is a legal act with specific requirements and consequences in Nevada, and understanding them often lowers the fear that keeps people stuck.
Nevada is a no-fault state. Under NRS 125.010, incompatibility is a sufficient ground for divorce, so you never have to prove your spouse did something wrong, and living separate and apart for one year is an independent ground. Under NRS 125.020, either spouse must have been a Nevada resident for at least six weeks before filing. Nevada is also a community property state under NRS Chapter 123, which means property and debts acquired during the marriage generally belong to both spouses and are divided in the divorce, and custody decisions are governed by the best interest of the child standard in NRS 125C.0035.
Two related questions come up in almost every consultation. First, what does the process itself involve? Our filing for divorce resource and our Nevada divorce timeline guide cover the mechanics and how long each path takes. Second, does it hurt or help to be the one who files? Because Nevada is no-fault, the court does not reward the spouse who files first, but there are practical trade-offs either way. We cover them in should you file for divorce first in Nevada.
If you are not ready for divorce but need financial or custody structure now, Nevada also allows legal separation (separate maintenance), which can put support and custody orders in place without dissolving the marriage.
Before You Decide to File in Nevada
Whatever you ultimately decide, a few precautions protect you while you think:
Do not move or hide money. Draining accounts or transferring assets before or during a divorce can seriously damage your position when the court divides community property. Keep records instead.
Gather your financial picture. Copies of tax returns, pay stubs, account statements, retirement balances, and debts. Nevada divorces require financial disclosure, and knowing the numbers early reduces both fear and conflict.
Keep children out of the middle. How parents behave during separation shows up later in custody proceedings, and more importantly, in the children. Courts applying NRS 125C.0035 look at which parent supports the child’s relationship with the other parent. If custody may be contested, our child custody and child support pages explain how Nevada handles both.
Get information before you announce. A consultation does not commit you to anything. It tells you what your specific situation, your house, your retirement, your custody schedule, would look like under Nevada law, so the decision is based on facts rather than fear. This matters most when finances, children, a business, or any safety concern is involved.
A Structured Way to Test Your Own Thinking
Am I Ready for a Divorce? Our free, confidential self-assessment covers relationship strain, communication patterns, decisional clarity, finances, and safety, and gives you a written summary of your results.
The quiz takes about five minutes. It is not a diagnosis and not legal advice, but many people find that answering structured questions surfaces what they already know.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if I should get a divorce?
There is no single test. Look at three things: whether you are safe, whether both spouses are still willing to work on the marriage, and whether the practical realities of separating (finances, housing, custody) are ones you understand. Persistent contempt, apathy, and relief when you imagine leaving are the signals clinicians take most seriously.
Should I talk to a therapist or a lawyer first?
If you are safe and genuinely undecided, a therapist or couples counselor is usually the right first call. If safety, money, or custody could become urgent, or your spouse may file first, talk to a family law attorney early so you understand your position. Many people do both, and the two conversations answer different questions.
Should I file for divorce or legal separation?
Divorce ends the marriage; legal separation (separate maintenance) puts court orders in place for support, custody, and property while the marriage continues. Separation can fit when religious beliefs, insurance, or genuine uncertainty make divorce premature. An attorney can walk you through which fits your goals.
Does it matter who files for divorce first in Nevada?
Not legally. Nevada is no-fault, and the court does not favor the petitioner over the respondent. There are practical considerations on both sides, which we cover in our guide to filing for divorce first in Nevada.
What should I do before filing for divorce in Nevada?
Confirm the six-week residency requirement under NRS 125.020 is met, gather financial records, avoid moving money or making major purchases, keep children out of the conflict, and get legal information about your specific assets and custody situation before announcing your decision.
Can a lawyer tell me whether I should get a divorce?
No, and you should be wary of anyone who tries. An attorney can explain the legal, financial, and custody consequences of each option so you decide with accurate information. The decision itself belongs to you.
Talk It Through Before You Decide
Gastelum Attorneys has handled more than 5,000 family law cases in Clark County since 2018, in English and Spanish. A confidential consultation gives you facts about your specific situation with no obligation to file anything.
Or contact us online. Learn more about divorce representation in Las Vegas.
New Beginnings, Brighter Tomorrows
This article is for general information and is not legal advice or a clinical diagnosis. Clinical observations reflect the author’s professional experience as an LCSW and do not establish a therapist-client relationship. Legal information reflects Nevada law as of the date above and was reviewed by a Nevada-licensed attorney. Your situation is unique; speak with a professional about your specific circumstances.
